Not appropriate conversation

On Saturday, our whole rabble went to the Home Depot and Lowes to look for new and exciting things for our house, like soaker hoses and towel bars. Being of the type that oozes efficiency my wife splits the list between us, so we each got a cart and one older kid, then RPS'd for the last. I still think that whole "paper covers rock" is a cop out, so I ended up with Emma (not that we don't love her, but a 2 year old at something as boring/dangerous as a Lowes is always a treat) and our 6 year old Neal.

So we're running (yeah, we're those people) to try to "beat" mommy with our list. She's a conniving f*ck though, as she stacked the deck against us. Everything was scattered all over the store, plus it was the difficult stuff like a tile soap fixture for our tiled shower, and a tub drain fixture. So as we sprint through cross-traffic, we head down the plumbing isle past all the expensive commodes. WTF, who would pay $800 for a poop catcher? They display it with 20 golf balls in it to show what it can do. If I ever passed something as confronting as 20 golf balls, the commode better have a chipper attachment or something.

Then something catches my son's eye.

Neal: "What kind of weird potty is that?"
Me: "Well, that's not really a potty, that's called a bidet."
Neal: "What's that for?"
Me: (points at nozzle thing) "See that, you hover your butt hole over it, and it hoses it off after you go poop."
Neal: "..... ....... So.... Like if you don't wanna wipe?"
Me: "well, I guess so. Maybe just to make sure you got it all, like from squirty poops."
Neal: "heh" ;)

So we then take off and look for stuff. Amy (wife) catches up with me, with a full list completed. We're still looking for the first item. CRAP!

So fast forward 2 days later. I'm home for lunch, and no one but me and Neal know about the above bidet story. Both girls, Amy, and me are sitting around the table (Neal's at school) so I break into a retelling for Amy. The girls could care less, as they are both princesses and are talking to each other on toy phones about their castles in the sky.

After the story, Amy says to me in a hushed tone:

Amy: "I wonder if 'Gee-Aye-Why' men like bidets a whole lot. Tee-hee!"
Me: "Well, I wouldn't know why, they have the same nerve endings there that I do. Maybe I would like it too?"
Amy: "Ewww. Did you have to go there?"
Me: "Yes, yes I did."

...and then...

Princess Mary, after showing no inclination she was listening to us, says in her high pitched "Glenda the Good Witch of the North" voice says:

Mary: "I don't think this is appropriate conversation for the dinner table." /wags finger at us